Time decides who you meet in life,
your heart decides who you want in your life,
and your behavior decides who stays in your life.
/phil
Some basic life advice on friends
1
Life is simple.
The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.
Allan Watts
/phil
Why being afraid will be no problem
Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
Bill Cosby
Everybody is afraid. You have to be careful not to get into a state of paralysis. Keep going, conquer your fear! Don’t get rid of it, learn how to live with it and use it as a motivation.
/phil
You’ll manage!
We will either find a way or make one.
Hannibal
In the end, it always works out! Either you will find a way or you have to get a little bit creative. Stay strong and keep the hopes up!
/phil
Keep struggling, the reward is waiting!
Any man’s finest hour is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle victorious.
/phil
The Anti-Procrastination tip
Action is the antidote to despair.
Joan Baez
Action creates inspiration, not the other way around. Sitting around and waiting for inspiration do kick in won’t work. Getting busy on the other hand will result in getting inspired.
/phil
Create, get busy!
Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
Dr. Robert Schuller
/phil
It’s the small, daily things
You’ll never change your life until you change something you do daily. The secret of you success is found in your daily routine.
John C. Maxwell
/phil
About relationships, integrity and happiness. About you!
Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.
Mandy Hale
Okay, so let’s talk about relationships and more importantly: About being comfortable with yourself and liking your life!
Why is this important? Well, there is only one person that you will be together with every second of your life and that person is you.
If you like it or not, you have to hang around yourself for some time, so better get used to it. As long as you are not comfortable around yourself and need other people for various reasons, including for example validation or advice, you can not be happy in an universal way.
Relationships are often a good indicator of this problem. Everyone knows this one person that just seems to stumble from relationship to relationship, being unhappy without them, but not completely happy in them either. As long as they are single, they crave for emotional security and the perks of a stable relationship and once they are in a relationship (Which is always referred to as the one relationship, the true love, better than all the other ones), they begin to miss the freedom and fun of being single.
The problem is not to be found in the concept of relationships or in the partners, but in this person. The challenge is to be happy and comfortable with just yourself. Once you have reached that stage, your relationship is not a necessity, but the icing on the cake. It is not the pillar of your life, but the whipped cream on top. Do you like it? Hell yeah! Can you life without it? Well of course. That is what should be happening. Two happy people, deciding that they cann be even happier together. Not two people, sucking the spirits out of each other until the first one drops dead. You want to make yourself interesting and fun for the other person to be around and the best way to get there is to like yourself for being an awesome person.
Now to the interesting part: While many of you may agree to have this one friend, who is like the person I just described, not that many of you would possibly agree to see themselves as that person. But in fact, many of us have issues with themselves, some more, some less.
Instead of ignoring that and focusing on your impact on other people, you should start with yourself. Be egomanic and care for self-improvement, it is the most unselfish thing you can do, because it makes you a better person. Care for yourself, take your time, begin a relationship with yourself, with your mind and your body. Respect and enjoy your own company, for it is the most stable company you will ever find.
This is not meantas a statement against relationships.
This ist meant as an incentive to date yourself. Get to know yourself, get comfortable around yourself, begin to actively form your character, instead of watching it being formed by circumstances and other people. This is a necessity for living a happy life, not an option. You can choose your partner in a relationship, but you can not choose wether or not you have yourself in it, that’s a given.
I hope you could find motivation to spend some quality time with yourself in this post!
/phil
Make choices or they will be made for you! The discipline post
A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else.
Hunter S. Thompson
Feeling indecisive today? Start making decisions and get better at it.
One important step is to not stay in your head for too long. If you find yourself caught up in there, thinking about a million possible outcomes and opportunities and whatnot, just get out! Busy yourself, go for a walk, get up for a run or just do some chores that are due.
You do not want to get stuck in your head, thinking about your life and your decisions, you rather want to make those decisions! Making decisions has a lot to do with discipline because often times a decision is feared because the consequences will result in work. Discipline and the 3 second rule may help you with that.
The 3 second rule or as I like to call it the “No hestitation rule” states not to even begin thinking about certain tasks. Take for example getting up in the morning. Your alarm clock rings and what is the first thing that you would normally do? You would go up into your head and search for excuses to sleep in. You would do the math, think about how long you can possibly sleep today, set a new alarm and fall asleep. But there was a reason for the early alarm in the first place and you have to be strong now to be happy later.
So instead of allowing yourself that excuse-time, you just get up, before you can start thinking. You get up and start your day, maybe eat something, maybe work out, maybe take a shower, whatever it is that you do in the morning. This will become your routine, your credo. Once the alarm goes off, your day has started, no matter what else. This way it will become easier over time, because you will get used to it. Our minds and bodies love being used to something, they hate change. Get used to this discipline of trusting your former self.
Discipline is doing what you don’t want to do, when you don’t want to do it.
You have set yourself the goal of learning at 2pm today? Well, it’s 2:01, so get started! No excuses, no procrastination, just get started. Same with chores that don’t take a lot of time.
Take the following situation: You have some spare time, sit around, surf the web. Suddenly your look wanders through the room and it dawns on you: Jesus, I should really vacuum in here.
Normal, slobby outcome: “Well yeah, I’ll do that some time soon”
Ideal outcome: Just get up and do it. It will take 5, maybe 10 minutes (that you would have spend looking at cats anyway) and afterwards you’ll feel awesome. Yes, even vacuuming your room can feel awesome, because it is applied discipline and it makes you feel being actually in control of your life.
These small things, like doing chores right when they pop up or bigger things, like getting up at certain (maybe brutal) hours are things that don’t work perfectly tommorow if they did not work today at all. You have to train them over time and you have to be patient.
Be willing to fail and do not judge yourself. The only possible mistake is to give up after a short time, because you did not show the discipline at several occasions. That is even a greater reason to keep up the training.
Discipline is like a muscle (and a big one, trust me!), it has to be trained continuously! Even if you have aquired a certain level of discipline, you can’t stop. You have to maintain your discipline muscle like any other one. Start small, start today, never stop! Train your discipline, like you train your body. If you do not train your body: Also start today! Maintaining mental and physical health is extremely important and feels awesome!
Practice and enjoy!
/phil
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