Until you get comfortable with being alone, you’ll never know if you’re choosing someone out of love or loneliness.

Mandy Hale

Okay, so let’s talk about relationships and more importantly: About being comfortable with yourself and liking your life!

Why is this important? Well, there is only one person that you will be together with every second of your life and that person is you.

If you like it or not, you have to hang around yourself for some time, so better get used to it. As long as you are not comfortable around yourself and need other people for various reasons, including for example validation or advice, you can not be happy in an universal way.

Relationships are often a good indicator of this problem. Everyone knows this one person that just seems to stumble from relationship to relationship, being unhappy without them, but not completely happy in them either. As long as they are single, they crave for emotional security and the perks of a stable relationship and once they are in a relationship (Which is always referred to as the one relationship, the true love, better than all the other ones), they begin to miss the freedom and fun of being single.

The problem is not to be found in the concept of relationships or in the partners, but in this person. The challenge is to be happy and comfortable with just yourself. Once you have reached that stage, your relationship is not a necessity, but the icing on the cake. It is not the pillar of your life, but the whipped cream on top. Do you like it? Hell yeah! Can you life without it? Well of course. That is what should be happening. Two happy people, deciding that they cann be even happier together. Not two people, sucking the spirits out of each other until the first one drops dead. You want to make yourself interesting and fun for the other person to be around and the best way to get there is to like yourself for being an awesome person.

Now to the interesting part: While many of you may agree to have this one friend, who is like the person I just described, not that many of you would possibly agree to see themselves as that person. But in fact, many of us have issues with themselves, some more, some less.

Instead of ignoring that and focusing on your impact on other people, you should start with yourself. Be egomanic and care for self-improvement, it is the most unselfish thing you can do, because it makes you a better person. Care for yourself, take your time, begin a relationship with yourself, with your mind and your body. Respect and enjoy your own company, for it is the most stable company you will ever find.

This is not meantas a statement against relationships.

This ist meant as an incentive to date yourself. Get to know yourself, get comfortable around yourself, begin to actively form your character, instead of watching it being formed by circumstances and other people. This is a necessity for living a happy life, not an option. You can choose your partner in a relationship, but you can not choose wether or not you have yourself in it, that’s a given.

I hope you could find motivation to spend some quality time with yourself in this post!

/phil